Sweet bedtime memories.

As we were walking to the bedroom last night my Man of the woods asked if maybe Daddy could cuddle with little brother so I could cuddle with him.  I wasn't going to pass on a request for cuddles.

It was my turn to tell the bedtime story so I talked of grey skies, the Son having time alone to speak with His Father, rough waters, Peter walking on the seas.  The moral of my story wasn't keep your eyes on Jesus, but that even Jesus needed to have quiet time to talk with God.  From there we went to our nightly prayers.  This night was different.  We all prayed that was normal.  This night we spent minutes not seconds thanking Jesus for the big and small things in our day with short sentences.  I'm not sure my Man of the woods wanted it to end.  I'm not sure any of us wanted it to end.  It was beautiful to hear my men talk to Jesus with excitement.  That is pure Joy.

Hear my prayer, O God; give ear to the words of my mouth.

~ Psalm 54:2

726.  Man of the woods asking, "Momma do you know how much I love you?"

727.  Popcorn Thank You Jesus' at bedtime as a family.

728.  A crown of curls for my Man of the woods. 

Fleeting days

My Strong man was trying to clean the drain to the tub yesterday, but once again forgot that he's not human like the rest of us, and over used his giant sized strength, ending in some broken pipes.  Oops! (Actually I love his strength, and usually end up smiling over the broken pieces.)

Today as our plumber has been replacing the pipes the boys and I have been cooling off in the yard.  At one point our handy man stopped and said, "My little boys are 25 and 29.  It seems like just yesterday they were that size.  It's true what they say, they grow up fast."

He's right, I know.  It won't be long before my boys are grown men.  When sticks, bugs and Momma are not on the top of there fun list.

I know someday soon there going to take that leap into life without me by there side.

I know someday I won't be the one receiving the flowers picked by those boy hands.

Until then I'm going to enjoy them and soak in each minute of there boyness; bug bites, bruises, fat lips and all.

Together we will savor the simple pleasures of life.

We'll embrace the messiness too.

I'll join in the fun, even if it's a tight squeeze.

I will do my best to capture the moments.

I will see each day as gift to be cherished.  I am blessed to be called Momma by these two boy men.

Behold, children are a gift of the LORD, the fruit of the womb is a reward.

~ Psalm 127:3

716.  Man of the woods excitement over fruit salad.

717.  Little fingers running through my hair at bedtime.

718.  Strangers smiling at my playful boys.

719.  Strong man scrubbing house beside me.

720.  Handpicked rose from my handy Mom.

721.  Little boy kisses begging me to get out of bed in the early morning hours. 

Day 3

The thoughts of cutting have past.  Anger and uncontrollable shakes have left this broken body of mine.  Smiles and laughter have returned, along with the enjoyment of little boy lives.  The in and out of daily life just seems normal rather then the unbearable task that it was.

As night comes and lights go out it seems that an uncontrollable IV of adrenaline has been inserted into my life veins.  My nights drag on as every few minutes I have to manually calm the body back into sleep only to wake and do it again.  Maybe in a short time these nights will pass into restful sleep.  Only time will tell.  Until then I play the most unwanted game of waiting.

Oh taste and see that the LORD is good; how blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him!

~ Psalm 34:8

710.  Notes of love from my mother across the sea.



Baking with Laughter

Today my Strong man and young man of the woods are fishing.  They are completely in there element.  So I wanted to make the day a little extra special for my Son of laughter here at home, who is not yet ready for the stream.  We decided to make a cake, something I never do with this boy because it always gets a bit out of control.  Usually big brother is overwhelmed with the chaos little brother is causing and it ends with tears and frustration and then the boys get kicked out of the ktichen.  So this is a pretty special thing to my young son.

Just as we dumped the first of the ingredients in, my phone rang.  I didn't mind if the sugar was mixed a little more, so I chatted.  Besides it's dry, it's sweepable.  Even if he was using it to make foot prints on the table. 

I learned that mixing is hard job requiring many tools.  We used at least three spoons and every measuring cup out.  At one point a spoon was completely baried in the batter.



Did I mention that a hired handy man was here working.  I got called away from baking for a few minutes.

Somehow he took a whole egg out of the cake mix.  This is when I decided that he needed a bath and my kitchen needed cleaning.

This is memory that will last a life time.  A simple everyday thing going way out of whack.

Make me to hear joy and gladness, Let the bones which You have broken rejoice.

~ Psalm 51:8

696.  Baking with my son of laughter.

697.  Not becoming overwhelmed or angery at the mess.

698.  Enjoying my son's pleasure.

Your third Fathers Day.

My strong man, I was going to have pictures showing what a fantastic Daddy you are, but my computer crashed this morning, so I'm out of luck with the pictures, and extremely grateful to you for allowing me to use your computer for a few hours so that I can write.

This time three years ago our tiny man of the woods screamed night and day.  Neither of us slept and there was no joy in this crazy thing called parenting.  I think at the time it was harder on you then me.  Who would have know that our baby would scream night and day for months?  You sacrificed fishing trips just so that I didn't have to endure the screaming alone.  A very large gift that I still cherish as I think of those days and the days now that you stay home with me to endure beside me.  Praise the Lord we have found the joy in parenting our two small men as we learned how to love them.

You are an amazing Daddy, well loved by these boys and this Momma.  It's the simple daily things that you do.  This year the boys and I made a very simple card for you.  When I asked what should be written on it, even though I suggested the standard, "Happy Fathers Day", our three year old said, "Momma you should write something like, Thank you for tucking me into bed."  A small thing that needs to be done each night before bed is adored by your boys.  As you put them to bed each night you are teaching the boys how to men.  They see the extra time you take for them to laugh, tell stories, sing songs, cuddle and pray with them each night.  These nightly rituals are going to be remembered and copied when they become fathers like you.

Thank you for loving our boys the way you do.  It's beautiful to watch and it's a love I as a Momma could never give them.  You do a great job living out Deuteronomy chapter six to our boys. 

I love you.

Not that we are adequate in ourselves to consider anything as coming from ourselves, but our adequacy is from God.

~ 2 Corinthians 3:5

2.  A husband that prays.

12.  Husband that loves without judgement.

33.  A husband in control when I'm a mess.

74.  Date night.

144.  Strong man doing last minute bed time stuff.

163.  Hubby and I playing with the littles toys while they sleep.

212.  Daddy that takes time for each son.

223.  Hubby that helps just because he loves us.

300.  Husband that makes supper with the boys so I can get housework done without interruption.

446.  Family dinners.

458.  Char's voices.

569.  A strong man to hold me physically and emotionally.

570.  Husband/Daddy that leads us with love.

649.  Little boys giggles as they wrestle with Daddy.

653.  Bedtime cuddles as a family.

656.  Picnic lunches at the park during the lunch hour.

663.  Pizza nights.

674.  Hubby that spends over an hour on the phone trying to get my computer working again.

678.  Man dates with the boys.

679.  Daddy death matches.

Joy in the transition

I've written about a lot of heavy stuff lately, especially as I've begun transitioning onto an mew medication.  Really only a few hours a day are dark.  Most of each day is full of joy as I raise my boys.  Here are some of the highlights for this past week.

Pizza night, it's becoming a weekly tradition.  Everybody loves it, even those who have to eat cheese free pizza.  Momma gets her favorite, green pepper and onion with extra cheese, Daddy usually mixes it up this week it was buffalo chicken with ranch dressing.  The littles love green peppers, chicken, and sausage.

My 1 1/2 year old has decided it's time to use the potty.  I wasn't sure how well this would work for me, thought it might be one more stress...He's doing great!  Really only has accidents if we're out.  He always has to say goodbye when he's done (what he's doing here.).

Lots of bubble were blown and whacked with sticks.

My son of laughter and I had some just us time this week. We worked in the garden.  Some onions were picked and replanted.  Some worms were found and loved maybe a bit to much.

The best though, was the hugging of the "mato" plants.  Actually only this one.  He just loved it.

The first day without rain this week we spent the lunch hour at the park. 

A caterpillar joined us for our picnic lunch.

On the rainy days we spent time in our pj's, watching movies and doing in door stuff. 
A pretty good week if I don't say so myself.  I love these boys.



An add on

I went back and reread yesterday's post.  If you haven't yet read my last post, A day like no other, then this one probably won't make much sense to you.  Here are a few problems I found in how I lived out yesterday.

1.  I looked to logic for help, the logic of my broken mind.
2.  I didn't look for the joy so I couldn't find it when the meltdown hit.
3.  I didn't once open my Bible. 
4.  I didn't talk with Jesus until I was sobbing.

Notice the common theme, here?  I left God out of everything I did.  No good.  It's not enough to know it, I have to practice joy. 

For Ezra had set his heart to study the law of the LORD and to practice it, and to teach His statutes and ordinances in Israel.

~ Ezra 7:10

655.  My besties loving on me.