A day at the river.

There is something about going down to my Grandpa's.  It's a place where I can breathe deep, and a place where time slows no matter how short the visit.  My soul always finds rest there.

The weather was perfect for a day at the river; hot, humid, a slight breeze, and not too sunny.

Gifts:
452.  The sound of the river gurgling, and trees swaying.

453.  Boy laughter as rocks skip and splash.

453.  Holding hands with my "baby boy" as we hop from rock to rock only to fall in once or twice.

454.  Amazed that my oldest is able and willing to jump into the river at seven.

455.  Good conversation.

456.  Freshly picked berries with red stained fingers and faces.

457.  Boy hands almost as big as mine.

458.  The smell of grilled food wafting through the air.
459.  Red hot dogs.
460.  Porch steps, a make shift table.

461.  The smell of freshly cut hay from across the road.
462.  Sleeping boys minutes into the car ride.
463.  Roads weaving through nature.

Dearest Lover,

Sometimes I feel like our lives barely pass, but still you find ways love me.  Sometimes when we only have time to say hello as our paths cross I'm not sure I tell you that I do see the small ways you love me, so let me tell you now.

434.  Our morning routine of laying in bed all blurry eyed having the same conversation, me in my husky man voice asking if you would make me coffee, and you in your scratchy bear voice telling me you would.
435.  Our conversations on the way home from my nightly bank drop.
436.  That you both want to and are daring enough to take to boys hiking with you.
437.  And the water falls you don't go to with them just because I'm nervous.
438.  I love your coffee appointments with men that build into your spiritual life.
439.  Your hugs that swallow me up, protecting me from the weight of the world.
440.  The house work, & cooking you do for our family.
441.  Your ability to teach our boys, both in life and academically.
442.  Communicating with me even when its hard.
443.  Your love of God and dreams of more.
444.  How you always stop what you're doing to bring me a clean towel when I'm soaking wet before I realize I forgot to get one myself.
445.  Grocery shopping for all of life needs, every single week.
446.  How you always answer the phone when I call on my breaks.
447.  I love you for buying me Lego's.
448.  You always make time for Mommy and boy dates.
449.  Stopping into work unexpectedly and always understanding when I only have time to say hello.
450.  All the I love you's you've given me over the last 8 1/2 years.
451.  Each day since our wedding night telling me why I am your best friend.

I know this weekend was Father's day and that this post is a list of love you show to me, but we both know that a strong happy family starts with the love in the marriage.

TFA

PS.  Thanks for caring for my chickens.

Summer begins

Our last day of science class.  We finished up our pond unit with lots of painting, lots of eating, and successful salamander hunt in the pouring rain.

With the beginning of summer I can't help but slow and see.  My coffee takes a little bit longer, my goodbyes before work are harder, and the joy in my heart is full.

Just starting our second week of summer break we have already been down to my home town, been to the beach, and the boys have had a sleep over at Nana's.  Little boy legs are covered in dirt, scrapes, and bruises, a sure sign summer has arrived, and every once in a while I stop to enjoy the peeping of my almost grown chicks.  Yes, my heart is full.

406.  Birds singing.
407.  Freshly cut grass and the sound of lawn mower engines.
408.  Nails pounding & chicken runs created.
409.  Wind blowing & waves lapping sandy shores.

410.  Sun shining on bare toes.
411.  Dirt covered boys.
412.  Bugs to entertain and be loved.
413.  Crickets lulling the forest to sleep.

414.  The smell of smoke on our clothes.
415.  Charred hot dogs.
420.  Large decks with chairs full & laughter echoing.
421.  Big back yards.

422.  Boys still small enough to swing with me.
423.  Swing set climbed, trees climbed, everything climbed.
424.  No broken bones as of yet.
425.  Curtains blowing in the breeze.

426.  Crisp grapes on hot days.
427.  Watermelon.
428.  A camera to capture the beauty of the moment.
429.  A God who creates for sheer pleasure.

430.  Nature working together to live.
431.  A crew I trust.
432.  A husband who loves me.
433.  Being in the here and now, slowing to see.

Here's to the kick off of a joy filled summer.

Joy is...

Dandelion yellow...

...The hundreds of petals that make it so...

...And the extraordinary detail of each.

Joy is...

...Symmetry.

Joy is...

...Creation being birthed into the living.

Joy is...

...Veins of color.

Joy is...

...the ability to see.

Psalm 119:25-32

My soul cleaves to the dust;
Revive me according to Your word.
I have told of my ways, and You have answered me;
Teach me your statutes.
Make me understand the way of Your precepts,
So I will meditate on Your wonders.
My soul weeps because of grief;
Strengthen me according to Your word.
Remove the false way from me,
And graciously grant me Your law.
I have chosen the faithful way;
I have placed Your ordinances before me.
I cling to Your testimonies;
O LORD, do not put me to shame!
I shall run the way of Your commandments, 
For You will enlarge my heart.

Weekend joy

379.  Early morning coffee with my brother.
380.  Early morning games.
381.  Quick shopping trips and deep conversation with a new friend.

382.  Cloudy mornings drifting into sun filled afternoons.
383.  Friends and family to celebrate 7 years of Man of the woods.
384.  Old friends arriving early.

385.  Grammy's, aunties, & uncles driving three hours just for an afternoon visit.
386.  Back yard fire pits with hot dogs & marshmallows.
387.  Many laughs with good friends.

388.  Nana's to help behind the scenes.
389.  Grammy's to snuggle with my boys.
390.  The Mommy's taking over the zip line.

391.  Nieces running for me with big hugs and many smiles!
392.  The sound of MANY kids playing happily.
393.  Sister friend's baby girl and I picking up where we left off.

394.  A quiet night at a friends house.
395.  Two happy twin boys.
396.  Sitting at the kitchen table while we talk into the wee hours of the night.

397.  Playing in the dirt, pulling weeds and planting flowers.
398.  Talking to my chicks, and watching them enjoy being out of the coop.
399.  Birds singing, swings soaring, and peace flowing through my heart.

400.  Spontaneous play dates.
401.  New friendship grown a little bit deeper.
402.  Grilled food.

403.  Being remind of all that God has done for me, for Strong man, and for us.
404.  Hearing what God has done in others.
404.  Long hot showers at the end of the day.

405.  Being asked out on a date by my oldest.

Fighting for normal.

Everyday I fight to see.  I battle my own personal demon daily, to get out of bed, to find joy, rest, love and to live on the human spectrum of normal.  After all when you are madly in love with my family, it is a battle worth fighting.

I know I have to put a little extra work into finding normalcy...
When my skin tingles 24/7 because it is fitting just a little too tightly.
When those little annoyance are all you can think about.
When so many thoughts are running through your mind that you can't start a task and complete it until you've started five others just so you don't forget to do those things.
When the idea of running is encroaching on your thoughts.

However, I become truly terrified when I realize that I simply do not care.  The moment I stop caring is the moment I cross the line from normal to insane.  We all joke about being crazy, but I have actually lived crazy and it is a place I never want to visit again.

I'll be honest I've been lazy these last few months.  Even though I forget to eat most meals my clothes fit just fine, but I am finding that my skin is a tad bit snug.

Let the battle begin with simple joys...
364.  Quiet days are work to get caught up.
365.  Husband who help me fix stuff and move shelves.
366.  Two boys that love stopping in at a work.
367.  Coworkers who bring pickle jars home to collect frog eggs in, a gift for my boys but really a gift to me.
368.  Friends to have dinner with, games to be played, and laughs to be had.
369.  Chicks that get excited to hear my voice.
370.  Little boys who adore me.
371.  Quiet nights with my thoughts.