Why I cringe at being called a Christian, part 2

The other day I shared this post, part 1. I just laid it out there not sharing my heart, but giving proof of the christian reality of those looking in. I have much of the conversation still running through my mind. So many thoughts so many hurts so many things I want to change within me, as one close to me once said, "I have to be the change I want to see." This one too I asked why he left the church a place he entered each Sunday as a child, unfortunately his response didn't surprise me...

As for the church...I have seen satin occupy the building thus displacing the words spoken. Actions speak louder then words. I forget who said it but I try to live by, to thine own self be true. Basically knowing when I've done right and owning when I've done wrong and realizing that I have to be the change that I want to see, and understanding that I cannot change others only myself and my actions...

In neither recollection of the time spent in "church fellowship" was love, grace, forgiveness, discipleship ever mentioned.

I want to be the change I want to see. I want to be known as a Jesus follower.  I want Honest love.

But if you had known what this means, "I desire compassion, and not sacrifice," you would not have condemned the innocent.

~ Matthew 12:7