Traditions

As in the past few years on Easter we headed off to a hotel, where we had an Easter egg hunt, big breakfasts, lots of time in the pool, but most importantly rested in each company.

Resting in each other's company is something that doesn't happen often enough.  Actually, it feels like a very rare thing these days.  The boys are more independent, I work a lot, Strong man works, chores, doctor appointments, friends, and the list could go on, it just seems like whole weeks go by without us being together as a family.

It was good for our hearts, even deeper then that it was good for our souls.  We were reminded of who we are as a family.

Because phones were off, and work was forgotten (mostly), and our real life was 150 miles away we were free to remember past years, talk about where we were at, and dream of our future.

Last year in this very hotel little Laughter fell off the bed breaking his clavicle.  Two years before that as we slept waiting for Strong man to sneak into the room after his flight had arrived the fire alarms went off leaving me and two very sleepy boys to walk down four flights of stairs.  Laughter slept through the whole thing wearing only his diaper and the blanket I had wrapped around him, while little Man of the woods was a trooper doing everything I asked.

This year while the boys were happily chatting in the back seat and while miles of road lay before us Strong man asked me, "If you had to write mission statement for your life what would it be?"  Quite for a few minutes I replied, "Living a simple life but loving Jesus so deeply that others wanted to know what made me so unique, allowing me to share my love for Him just because they asked."

I have no idea if I'm actually living that statement out.  I'm not sure if I live a simplistic life, I'm not sure that people see my honesty, or how hard I work to do things right, that I genuinely care about everything I do, or that I know none of what I've been given is because of me.  I haven't been asked in a long while what makes me different.  I haven't been asked recently why I love life the way I do.

I am sure that my coworkers know that I will not cut corners or cheat in anyway.  I am sure that they know that I am well aware of my flaws.  I am sure they know that I expect the same from them.  I am not sure that shows how much I love Jesus or if it just shows them I'm a rule follower which isn't at all the same as loving the Maker of the heavens and earth.

I do wonder if my boys see how much I love Jesus or if they see that I love my job so much I don't have as much time for them.  But then I wonder if that's just the curse of a working mother to always be torn between family and work.

In the end I am comforted knowing that I don't have all the answers that I still have goals I'm striving to for, and that I'm not comfortable with where I'm at.  This conclusion shows me I am still working towards my life goal to live simply, to love Jesus, and to stand out in the world.