My heart hurts. I know it's what I signed up for. I know it. This is the hardest work I have done.
I can't imagine anything more beautiful then a Momma being reunited with her son. I can't imagine how her heart hurts and longs for him. She is often on my mind as I pray her soul would find peace during this hard time. However my heart doesn't know he wasn't birthed to me.
I wonder about Hannah of the Bible. I know women that have prayed like her for a child, I have prayed like her for a child, but I don't know many Momma's that would give that gift baby back. Yet I signed up to do just that. I had no idea what I was signing up for. Now eight months into fully, whole heatedly, unconditionally loving this boy my heart is learning what it means to be like Hannah. For now I pray that when the day comes for me to hand this gift child back that I can be like Hannah and worship the Lord.
My heart exults in the LORD; My horn is exalted in the LORD, my mouth speaks boldly against my enemies, because I rejoice in Your salvation. There is no one holy like the LORD, indeed, there is no one beside You, nor is there any rock like our God.
~ Hannah, mother of Samuel the prophet of God