Five!

This year is a very special year to me.  It marks the passing of a preschooler and the beginnings of pure boyhood.  Really there isn't much I do for you these days.  In this past year you have completely learned to dress yourself, brush your own teeth and get your own drinks.  You catch salamanders and frogs "all by your own" (which you no longer say), and you have begun thinking for yourself wanting to understand the "why's" behind the "what's" in our daily life.

Meet five year old "Ball Man".  A combination of two things you love balls and super hero's.

For months just after you were born each night Daddy and I would take turns as you screamed.  You would sleep in 45 minute intervals for the first seven months of life.  Your belly wrenching in pain, and Daddy and I would do the only thing we could do; hold you and stand before the throne of Heaven on your behalf both of us feeling completely helpless in soothing you.  On my shifts I would come from the room just next door pick my favorite boy up, zipping us into the sleeping bag that waited for us in the rocking chair.  We would rock and you would cry and I would rub your face as I whispered to my Best Friend.  While I knew you were in pain and I prayed countless times each day that God would show us how to help you, I would pray with even more earnest that you would be passionately in love with Jesus. 

Catapults, knights, and a castle made out of his favorite blocks makes for a very happy birthday boy.  Your reaction: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!

Easter morning just before your second birthday as you and Daddy were having breakfast he explained to you why Easter was so special.  As he asked if you understood you began talking about your napkin.  We thought the conversation was lost on you, but a few days later you asked if Jesus was in Daddy's heart and then in your heart.  When we said no you became quiet and the conversation ended.  Shortly there after as Daddy and I were having a spiritual conversation about you, your little voice piped in and said, "No Jesus in my heart."  We asked you how you knew that, and in your little two year old words you proceeded to share with us the gospel.

Your very first salamander catch.

Thank you for teaching me to have an innocent love for Jesus, and even though I no longer hold you in the dark of the night my prayer for you still is that you may you know Him more then I ever will in this life.

 

An interview with you, my five year old:

What's your favorite color? Blue

What is something that is very special to you? God

What is your favorite word or saying? Are you kidding me?!

What is your favorite super hero? Ball man

What is your favorite memory of this past year? Story land.

Anything else you want to say? Nope

 

One years growth.

 

Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child will not enter it at all.

~ Mark 10:15

 

 

Gifts God has given me through you...

 

~ Your deep awareness of spiritual things.

~ Your strive to be honorable.

~ Your love for good.

~ Your sensitivity.

~ The way you live up to your task of being a big brother, you do it so well.

~ Your love of nature.

~ Your hunger for learning.

~ Your freckles and curly hair.

~ The way you take on responsibility.

~ Your imagination.

~ Your caution that is not cowardliness.

~ The high priority you put on family.

~ The way you use your words to love others.

~ Your willingness to help others.

~ Your willingness to take the time to explain something so others can learn from you.

~ Your personality so much like mine forcing me to reflect and face my flaws so that we can both grow.

 

 

I love you, five year old boy.  Happy birthday.

Gifts of May.

I am deeply loved by the King of the heavens and the earth....

~ An unexpected date with Laughter, the best part though was when he whispered in my ear, "Tanks Momma for tanking God for our date. I love you."

~ Beautiful weather for the first fishing trip of the year.

~ An easy hike to a shallow stream where the boys can remember the flow of river water, the buzz of black flies, and fun of reeling in fish.

~ Laughter the son who truly loves to fish.

~ Crystal clear water.

~ Man of the woods who much prefers brook time as a time of searching for critters and bugs rather then actually fishing.

~ The rest that the sound of a brook brings.

~ One more year older, one more year braver.

~ The perfecting ending to a perfect fishing day; ice cream for dinner.

~ Fresh grown asparagus.

~ Dandelion yellow and a little boy who loves them so.

~ New life...

~ ...And best friends...

~...And a husband who offers to leave work early on an already chaotic day so I can see both.

 ~ Long car rides with my Sis.

 ~ Being asked to go on a fishing adventure with my Dad.

~ A Dad who knows the way to this girls heart by offering unlimited steak, and well, food in general.

 

~ Short get aways with my three men.

 

~ On the 10th becoming the Momma of a school aged boy.

 

~ Spiders and flowers.



A few gifts that come along with Spring:

Sun kissed shoulders and aloe vera.

 

Daily attire that consists of underwear and puddle jumpers for the hoolies and sleeveless shirts for the Momma.

Play dates that are extended simply because.

Iced coffee.

Always on the look out for worms.

Boys begging to go fishing and Momma saying wait just a little longer (mainly because she hates cold water).

Picnic lunches.

Dirt covered boys, only recognizable by there eyes.

Open windows.

Bug bites, and splinters.

Scrapes and bruises.

Running fingers through our hair in search of ticks.

Praying we will have just one more year poison ivy free, but having cream on hand just in case.

 

Allergy medicine before bed each night for my littlest and his Momma would do well to do the same.

Peaceful sleepiness that only fresh air and warm sunshine can bring.

Every April he returns a better man.

Strong man an extrovert is energized by people, but every now and again his soul becomes agitated and restless, just like a child becomes after being securely buckled in the back seat during the nine hours of traveling.  We're learning his signs, and this is when he needs to retreat, from work, friends, and even the boys and I.  This is when he needs to retreat to be with his Maker.

If you ask him the woods are his sanctuary, under the canopy of trees with sounds of life playing softly in the back ground and his Bible laying open in his lap, in these times he hears God most clearly.  It's there that God taught him how to see the small things as gifts. It's there in the quiet of the mountains that he knew I was the one he should marry.  When he returns to me I never know what to expect other then it will be life changing only knowing God will breathe life into his soul.  The woods have become his chapel.

Now if you ask me where it is that God speaks most clearly to him I would also tell you deep in the forest, but I would add that Atlanta is the other place where it is easy for him to hear God.  For the past three years he has spent a week each April attending the Orange conference.  While he is being taught and worshiping with thousands of like minded souls it's in many ways the same as the forest, a place where he steps out of his life letting go of distractions allowing himself to listen a little bit more.

While he is away the boys and I usually spend the week in my grandparents guest bedrooms.  During the day we fill our love tanks up with friends and family.  At night we retreat to the quietness and safety grandparents bring.  After I kiss little boy foreheads good night I curl up on the couch making the announcement that I too will be going to bed as soon as my glass of water is finished.  But that's when my heart begins to find rest because they take my hand and share there journey with me.  We wonder together what God is going to do with my Strong man and our family.  They show me my accomplishments when I speak mostly of my struggles.  Sometimes life is like that the struggles are too big for me to see the accomplishments.

And so when Strong man comes home a different, a better man, I am eager to take his hand as he turns the corner.

This year as Strong man is away I find myself at home, working, mothering, and continuing on with our daily life.  After we said our goodbyes I was slightly worried that maybe I wouldn't be ready to take his hand when he got back this time. The introvert in me feared the idea that I was to parent alone and to work almost everyday he was gone, and to take a day trip down to my parents, and to do all the chores at home, I was scared.  This year I don't have my Nana's cooking and clean house where I can simply sit back and rest only needing to love on my boys.  I don't have my grandfather in the back ground watching me mother and hearing my heart all week long when just before bed that last night he grabs my hand to tell me that I am doing well.  But most of all I worried I would forget to wonder where God was taking my husband this week and where he would be leading me next week.

Too often I forget who God really is.  I have spent hours each night contemplating, talking, and just being in the presence of my Maker.  I have had just enough strength to get through each day.  I have slept well, even though my bed is empty.  Most of all I have wondered where we will go from here.  And so when Strong man comes home a different, a better man, I am once again eager to take his hand as he turns another corner.

That my soul may sing praise to You and not be silent.  O LORD my God, I will give thanks to You forever.

~ Psalm 30:12



Gifts...

~ Before bed time family Bible reading with my boys, a place where we all breath deep and relax.

~ Hearing the tick-tock of the clock.

~ Sleeping boys.

~ Crackling fires.

~ Wonder

~ A God who knows me most of all.

~ A husband willing to hear his Master's voice.

~ A husband who is willing to follow his Teacher's instructions.

A Momma of boys & EFA 3.7

"BOY n. noise with dirt on it"

 

When I found out I was expecting baby number one.  I considered the possibility that I might have a girl child growing in me just enough to have a name picked out to prove that I really was going to be a good Momma.  Late at night as we would lay in bed dreaming of our tiny "Malna" I would share my fear of having a daughter.  I had played house when friends wanted to, my first choice was catching frogs in the swamp out back or riding my bike.  For me doing my hair all up fancy was letting it half down instead of the ponytail I sported every. single. day.  And shopping, my favorite store is Good Will and I always bring a friend when clothes are involved.  Left to my own devices I find a pair of pants I like and I buy four pairs exactly the same so I don't have to shop again for at least a year or more.  So while I would have smiled at the ultrasound technician if she told us the baby was a girl, I smiled just a little bit bigger when we learned our first born would be a boy.

As baby number two began growing within me Strong man was ready to hold his little girl, and so for him I hoped for a girl.  When I found myself laying on my back looking at that black and white screen in suspension I held my breath scared out of my mind that this baby would be a girl.  When the evidence left no room for question I breathed a sigh of relief that again I was having a boy, with a small pang of sympathy for Strong man as he refused to believe our baby was a boy.  In fact he had to have three people look at the screen to confirm it was a boy, and then still wouldn't believe it until he could actually hold the child in his arms.  When that day finally came it was instant love for all of us.

I'm not sure why the idea of girls terrifies me so.  I'll admit there are moments, days even, okay once there was an entire month where I longed to be able to say, "She's my daughter."

But a Momma of boys, just in hearing those words my heart stills.  Maybe it's because I have five brothers and only two sisters so I know what is to come.  Ha! I KNOW what is to come and yet my heart finds rest in having sons...

Today my heart is full as dreams of motherhood came true.

Gifts...
~ Birds Acre, a family friendly safe haven for injured birds that's not to far from home.

~ Hearing peepers for the first time this season.
~ Finding frogs but not catching any.

~ Looking for salamanders.
~ Finding bugs.

~ Catching a fish with my bare hands, even if it's itty-bitty it's still a first for me.
~ Two boys excited to have lunch at the "spork restaurant" aka KFC.

~ A duck following a goose as if she were his mother.

~ Glad my husband enjoys outdoor adventures as much as I do, actually I'm sure he enjoys them more.
~ Warm sunshine.
~ Trees begging to be perched in.

~ Mother son dates with my oldest.

~ Giving him a drink I know he admires, but doesn't ask for.

~ Playing games, while splitting a cookie.

~ Building massive train tracks with the boys as "Chomper" eats the mean trains, and dragons protect the good one.



I had no idea that Percy was a good train, but Laughter was slightly mortified that I would let Chomper eat Percy.  It went something like this:
*Gasp* Oh no not Percy!  Oh poor Percy!" As he gently nestles the toy train into his neck....
And that was the end of my train adventures for the day.

~ Water swishing as happy boys rinse off in the tub.

~ End of the day joy that only parenthood can bring--Bible stories read, prayers said, heads kissed, and teeth brushed, toys picked up, jammies covered with cozy blankets.

~ Reminders that I am a Momma of boys.