Thank you for your hand

Something I wrote a while back, but never posted...

May I hold your hand for a moment while I catch my breath?  This past year my path has been steep as I have fought my never ending sickness, Bi-polar.  As the hill becomes higher & the sky darker I am once again called back to the book of Deuteronomy chapter 6.  When this road began I thought all I was asked to do was to be diligent to introduce my boys into the meaning of life; the worship of our Creator.  Shortly after I realized I couldn't simply teach them to see God in today, but I also had to instill the miracle's of yesterday into them as well.

Once again I have been beckoned back to the summoning of Moses.  I realize that I alone am able to teach the meaning of life to these small hearts of mine.  Strong man and I still are not enough to teach them.  Moses called all of Israel to teach the children that "The LORD is our God, the LORD is One!  You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might."

It has been a hard lesson; one that stabs deeply into my pride, the hardest filth of my heart.  For five weeks I sat with you friend, broken as my expectations of motherhood were ripped from me.  As difficult as it was I can still say it was good.  Through this lesson many relationships have come into being.  Most of all my small men have seen the Love of Christ, through many.  They have seen this in ways that I alone could never have taught them.  For these reasons I once again say thank you to God.

Thank you, friend, for you hand; for walking with me through this darkness.  As the apostle Paul concluded many of his letters with I will also:  May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit.

The list

An article I wrote for CBC.

The List

My friend!  Hello again.  How long has it been since we last walked together?  Sit, and have some tea with me on this cold day.  We’ll only have a few minutes together before my littles will come looking for me, I’m sure.

I don’t know about you, but when summer fades and fall shows its royal colors I feel as though the speed of life goes from a strolling pace to the flying speed of NASCars.  Not to mention the Maine weather of blizzards in October followed by the tease of an almost summer day.  Sometimes it just wears me out.

You know what I’ve started doing?  I’ve started keeping a list.  Not a “To Do” list, or a “Grocery” list, but a “Thank You, God” list.  Let me tell you about it.  I have a notebook dedicated to this list.  As I see the little things, the daily things, I write them down.  I started doing this so that I could see the small simple gifts that God gives me each day.  It helps me to slow and see the now; to see the Creator’s hand at work in this simple life of mine.  Sometimes I get wordy and sometimes I don’t.  Let me give you a few examples:

~ Laid back Saturdays.

~Little boys wanting to craft with me.

~A brunch of sorts; full of tea, egg salad, nuts, granola, sticky boy fingers, super fast race cars, and much chatter.

~Story time.

~Three year old wanting to pull up his pants like a grown up, “all by my own." 

Not only does this list encourage me to slow down and praise my Maker for all that He does, but it also records memories of the daily gifts so I won’t forget Him.

Do you remember the last time we met I talked of Deuteronomy 6:4-9?  It says, “Hear, O Israel!  The LORD is our God, the LORD is one!  You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart with all your soul and with all your might.  These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart.  You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up.  You shall bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as frontals on your forehead.  You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.”  I had summed these verses up with these two words:  Be intentional. 

I’m learning. On some days it seems like I’m learning slowly, but I am learning to be intentional as I raise my boys.  If I were to continue on in that chapter Moses also says, Remember.  Remember that you were slaves.  Remember our God showed us great signs and wonders.  Remember He has freed you.

Just recently I found a way to take what the Lord is teaching me through my list and teach it to the boys.  In fact, they too are making a list.  Theirs looks much different than mine.  Just take a look… 

Yep, it’s in the form of a paper tree that hangs in our kitchen.  We have a bowl full of paper maple leaves always out on the table.  Anytime they find something they want to thank the LORD for they “draw” a picture and I write out the praise for them, then we hang the “thank you leaf” on the tree.  Here’s how each of their lists sound:

~Silas is thankful for:  His harmonica, green blanket, Makenna, Daddy, and scissors

~Isaac is thankful for:  Baby doll, baby’s bottle, crayons, Momma, and that his toes were painted in Sunday school

Well, friend, I think I hear the bathroom water running and at the same time both boys are here by my feet.  I should run to see what kind of mischief they have left behind.  It was good talking to you even if only for a few minutes.  I would love to hear how you too are being intentional as you live life.  My email is psalm117ptg@gmail.com.  Looking forward to hearing your insights, ideas, and lessons learned.