Childish Love

I had the joy of spending the week with my sister as she began learning how to be a Mommy.  I brought my boys down with me.  We all were very excited to meet that beautiful sweet baby.  And was she ever beautiful!  Weighing in 2 lbs less then my smallest she was perfection wrapped in a blanket.  Seriously, she cried once the whole week I was visiting.  She was that dream baby that every new Mom assumes she'll have, but rarely gets.  Not only did I realize for the first time that my "kid" sister, was actually an adult, wife, and mother.  I got to watch my two Littles soak in this new life. 

Isaac the baby lover!  He constantly wanted to be with her, to hold her, to cuddle her, to rock her or bounce her.  So much so that he broke her swing (Oops!).   Had she been my baby I would have take pictures, but for the sanity of her Momma I rescued first. :)

Silas did not take the hands on approach that his brother did.  He spent more time playing then he did looking at the baby.  He would randomly stop what he was doing and pray for her or my sister and never turned up the opportunity to hold her.

Watching babies love on babies is a beautiful thing.  So pure, unconditional, involving all of there being.  No wonder Jesus says we must become like children to enter into heaven (Matt. 18:3)

"Way past beyond!"

So I'm coming off of this intensely long week of being constantly reminded that I have no control what so ever of anything that goes on in life.  If you have no idea what I'm talking about see an earlier post called "Letting go of control".  Not only have I been learning this hard lesson I am also ending a week of intense sickness.  Not my sickness (Praise the Lord!), but the boys sickness.  They both had a wicked bout with RSV, which lead to some other things needing prescription meds and VERY LONG nights.  While all this was going on not only was God giving us strength to love each other through these unlovable times, but He was also doing some behind the scenes work that Charlie and I had no idea about.  He was moving somebody, we have no idea who, to pay off the remaining balance of our Hospital bill.  That's over ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS!  I'll say it again, OVER $1,000!  We didn't ask God for this gift.  We weren't feeling any more burdened by it then any of our other bills, it was just part of life.  Yet God chose to give this to us.  He goes "way past, beyond" (Priscilla Shirer) my deepest imagination.

Psalm 118:1 "Give thanks to the LORD, for He is good; for His lovingkindness is everlasting."

Cart Diving, an extreme sport.

Today I got to have some one on one time with the littlest of the Hodsdon men.  We both were pretty excited to be 1. Going OUT, after all the sickness we've had, and 2.  We didn't have to share our time with anybody else.  There are some items I have been looking for but will only buy if it's a true bargain price.  So off we went to the local Good Will stores and of course Mardens.  Even though Isaac walks, drinks out of a sippy, and well, is 100% toddler, he is still the best cuddler I know.  He can just curl into me as if he were a new born snuggling up for an afternoon nap.  As I was taking him out of the car a gust of wind came whipping by and he did his cuddle magic.  I am a blessed Mommy.  When we entered the store I put Isaac in the cart where his brother usually gets to stand, you know that part where all the "goods" go, and off we went.  Each new isle brought huge amounts of excitement on my little ones face.  Since it was just the two of us when he found something he was interested in I would stop and let him touch, look and explore it.  (Another reason I chose bargain shopping, if he were to break it the damage wouldn't be to painful for my wallet.)  When it was time to move on he would say good bye to his new interest and then beg me to go, "Ba, ba, ba" back.  This time it was my turn to stop and look at some adorable little girl clothes that I could imagine my, soon to arrive, niece wearing in just a few weeks.  As I'm looking a cute little dress over I'm asking Isaac what he thinks.  I turn to him waiting for a response only to find him leaping out of the cart.  My Mommy reflexes jumped into action and Praise the Lord, I caught him in mid flight!  We quickly moved on.  As we went from store to store he would cuddle into me while were outside, and we had more attempts of "Cart Diving", we even had a "mess in isle 9" moment or more like 20 minutes as hot sauce ran out of my hand while I held him in the other arm, all the while pushing the cart as I try to find a random worker to help clean it up. 

As I think about this morning, I realize I am so much like Isaac.  He so desperately wanted to be with me, and doing what I was doing that he was willing to dive out of the cart to make it a reality.  However diving out of the cart didn't make him able to do the things I can do.  So often I just want to be deep in God's work like somebody further down the road then I am and  I leap out of the safety of where God has put me so I can "be more like Him" only to realize as I'm flying through the air that I was exactly where God wanted me and this leap will not put me where I thought I was going and may even set me back with some broken parts.  God is always good and uses these situations to teach me.  I hope that as I raise my boys I can teach them the difference from "Cart Diving" and doing things that are out of our comfort zone.

Letting go of control.

I don't know how many times I feel like I have to go back to the basics of learning how to be a good friend.  So often I forget how to be considerate to others, to say kind words, and that I don't have to be in control.  I find that when I'm doing this with my those closest to me, I'm most definitely doing this to God.  The closer my relationships get the deeper I have to go to learn these simple but necessary life lessons.  When I agreed to be Charlie's wife I had no idea the amount of emotional personal space I would have to give up, and I'd have to learn to be loving while spending 9 months times two in front of the toilet.  Or as I've become a mother of two little boys who thankfully have minds of there own I realize everyday that I really can only control my personal self as situations arise.  Even then it's only through God's Grace that I am able to do that much.  In my past there were days I wouldn't think twice about hitting a wall or shouting untrue, hurtful words.  As much as I can look back and see the ways God has grown me and has replaced these evil parts of me I am still a messy person. 

Once again I am learning less control is better.  It's been a hard lesson, but lessons if learned are always good.  This past week I asked God to again teach me to give Him control of my life.  God is very clear that He loves to give us gifts, and anything we ask that will bring us or others closer to Him, He will grant us.  I had no idea I'd be learning so intensely and that He would teach me so soon...In short in the space of a week I have had two dead car batteries (two different cars), a son with the runs while on a bit of a drive, just about anything I could think of go "wrong" with my quiz team this past weekend and for the biggest meet of the year coming up, my youngest with the normal cold symptoms plus an ear infection, tonsillitis, croup, and vomiting, while my other son probably has whooping cough (we're still waiting for the test results to come back) which is extremely contagious and may change the whole families plans for the next week-in fact my husband has already had to move his office computer home...But God is always good.  As this week has passed by spinning out of my control and reach I'm reminded of how refreshing life is when I let go of what I cannot control.  I say it again and again, GOD IS GOOD.