I don't know how many times I feel like I have to go back to the basics of learning how to be a good friend. So often I forget how to be considerate to others, to say kind words, and that I don't have to be in control. I find that when I'm doing this with my those closest to me, I'm most definitely doing this to God. The closer my relationships get the deeper I have to go to learn these simple but necessary life lessons. When I agreed to be Charlie's wife I had no idea the amount of emotional personal space I would have to give up, and I'd have to learn to be loving while spending 9 months times two in front of the toilet. Or as I've become a mother of two little boys who thankfully have minds of there own I realize everyday that I really can only control my personal self as situations arise. Even then it's only through God's Grace that I am able to do that much. In my past there were days I wouldn't think twice about hitting a wall or shouting untrue, hurtful words. As much as I can look back and see the ways God has grown me and has replaced these evil parts of me I am still a messy person.
Once again I am learning less control is better. It's been a hard lesson, but lessons if learned are always good. This past week I asked God to again teach me to give Him control of my life. God is very clear that He loves to give us gifts, and anything we ask that will bring us or others closer to Him, He will grant us. I had no idea I'd be learning so intensely and that He would teach me so soon...In short in the space of a week I have had two dead car batteries (two different cars), a son with the runs while on a bit of a drive, just about anything I could think of go "wrong" with my quiz team this past weekend and for the biggest meet of the year coming up, my youngest with the normal cold symptoms plus an ear infection, tonsillitis, croup, and vomiting, while my other son probably has whooping cough (we're still waiting for the test results to come back) which is extremely contagious and may change the whole families plans for the next week-in fact my husband has already had to move his office computer home...But God is always good. As this week has passed by spinning out of my control and reach I'm reminded of how refreshing life is when I let go of what I cannot control. I say it again and again, GOD IS GOOD.