Saturday, September 15, 2012

Dog gone tired

I'm tired of boxes. 
I'm tired of walking through paths. 
I'm tired of telling little boys not to jump off the furniture and not to climb that unstable shelf. 
I'm tired of kissing and rubbing away there bumps and bruises (caused by disobedience, and I'm tired of telling them so.)
In the last week they have each learned to open windows "all by there own".  I'm tired of telling them not to.
I'm tired of warning them of how dangerous it is to sit/stand on the sill of a second story apartment.
I'm tired of punishments.
I'm tired of life without a schedule. 
I'm tired of the outside junk that life hands you at the most inconvenient of times.
I'm just plain old tired.

Yes, I am the same women who just days before was praising the Maker for all the gifts he had given us~a house, a play set in the back yard, friends of all kinds, furniture, among other things~I am that women.  It is all good, all a gift. 

I am still thankful. 

But I'm also still tired. 

It happens to the best of us (and me).

In two days I'm getting on a airplane headed for the place where I stepped into adulthood.  A place where I first realized God's unconditional love, beginning my friendship with Grace.  In this place I realized I never wanted to be a half in follower of Jesus.  It has been six years since I last visited Hungary I am surely looking forward to seeing old friends and making new ones.  I am looking forward to digging into some of the tasks I once did. 

However the thing I'm most looking forward to is some quiet time with God.  I hope to find my balance again. 
Here are my goals:
~I need to find some personal routines that will keep me focused each day on all that is right and good.
~I need direction in how to be the wife Strong man needs or better yet the wife God asked me to be.
~I need to fully process all that we have been given and where this brings us as far as Haven is concerned.
~I need to meditate on my parenting strategies about each boy individually. 

He caused the storm to be still, so that the waves of the sea were hushed.  Then they were glad because they were quiet, so He guided them to their desired haven.  Let them give thanks to the LORD for His lovingkindness, and for His wonders to the sons of men!
~ Psalm 107:29-31
Gifts #(someday I'll figure out where I am)
~ Learning new tricks to keeping sinuses clear.
~ In the midst of boxes two small boys to cuddle up with me getting lost in words and pictures, page after page.
~ The steadfastness of scripture.
~ The promises of an unforgetting God.
~ A husband to make me rest.
~ A husband who takes the pressure I put on myself away.
~ A gift from a friend, allowing us a special family date out instead of spending our last night together tangled in boxes.
~ To have a husband that I can trust to live out life well, even while he's picking up my share.
~ To have such a loving God that I can trust Him with every aspect of life.

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