Friday, April 26, 2013

Every April he returns a better man.

Strong man an extrovert is energized by people, but every now and again his soul becomes agitated and restless, just like a child becomes after being securely buckled in the back seat during the nine hours of traveling.  We're learning his signs, and this is when he needs to retreat, from work, friends, and even the boys and I.  This is when he needs to retreat to be with his Maker.

If you ask him the woods are his sanctuary, under the canopy of trees with sounds of life playing softly in the back ground and his Bible laying open in his lap, in these times he hears God most clearly.  It's there that God taught him how to see the small things as gifts. It's there in the quiet of the mountains that he knew I was the one he should marry.  When he returns to me I never know what to expect other then it will be life changing only knowing God will breathe life into his soul.  The woods have become his chapel.

Now if you ask me where it is that God speaks most clearly to him I would also tell you deep in the forest, but I would add that Atlanta is the other place where it is easy for him to hear God.  For the past three years he has spent a week each April attending the Orange conference.  While he is being taught and worshiping with thousands of like minded souls it's in many ways the same as the forest, a place where he steps out of his life letting go of distractions allowing himself to listen a little bit more.

While he is away the boys and I usually spend the week in my grandparents guest bedrooms.  During the day we fill our love tanks up with friends and family.  At night we retreat to the quietness and safety grandparents bring.  After I kiss little boy foreheads good night I curl up on the couch making the announcement that I too will be going to bed as soon as my glass of water is finished.  But that's when my heart begins to find rest because they take my hand and share there journey with me.  We wonder together what God is going to do with my Strong man and our family.  They show me my accomplishments when I speak mostly of my struggles.  Sometimes life is like that the struggles are too big for me to see the accomplishments.

And so when Strong man comes home a different, a better man, I am eager to take his hand as he turns the corner.

This year as Strong man is away I find myself at home, working, mothering, and continuing on with our daily life.  After we said our goodbyes I was slightly worried that maybe I wouldn't be ready to take his hand when he got back this time. The introvert in me feared the idea that I was to parent alone and to work almost everyday he was gone, and to take a day trip down to my parents, and to do all the chores at home, I was scared.  This year I don't have my Nana's cooking and clean house where I can simply sit back and rest only needing to love on my boys.  I don't have my grandfather in the back ground watching me mother and hearing my heart all week long when just before bed that last night he grabs my hand to tell me that I am doing well.  But most of all I worried I would forget to wonder where God was taking my husband this week and where he would be leading me next week.

Too often I forget who God really is.  I have spent hours each night contemplating, talking, and just being in the presence of my Maker.  I have had just enough strength to get through each day.  I have slept well, even though my bed is empty.  Most of all I have wondered where we will go from here.  And so when Strong man comes home a different, a better man, I am once again eager to take his hand as he turns another corner.

That my soul may sing praise to You and not be silent.  O LORD my God, I will give thanks to You forever.
~ Psalm 30:12

~ Before bed time family Bible reading with my boys, a place where we all breath deep and relax.
~ Hearing the tick-tock of the clock.
~ Sleeping boys.
~ Crackling fires.
~ Wonder
~ A God who knows me most of all.
~ A husband willing to hear his Master's voice.
~ A husband who is willing to follow his Teacher's instructions.

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