Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Fighting for normal.

Everyday I fight to see.  I battle my own personal demon daily, to get out of bed, to find joy, rest, love and to live on the human spectrum of normal.  After all when you are madly in love with my family, it is a battle worth fighting.

I know I have to put a little extra work into finding normalcy...
When my skin tingles 24/7 because it is fitting just a little too tightly.
When those little annoyance are all you can think about.
When so many thoughts are running through your mind that you can't start a task and complete it until you've started five others just so you don't forget to do those things.
When the idea of running is encroaching on your thoughts.

However, I become truly terrified when I realize that I simply do not care.  The moment I stop caring is the moment I cross the line from normal to insane.  We all joke about being crazy, but I have actually lived crazy and it is a place I never want to visit again.

I'll be honest I've been lazy these last few months.  Even though I forget to eat most meals my clothes fit just fine, but I am finding that my skin is a tad bit snug.

Let the battle begin with simple joys...
364.  Quiet days are work to get caught up.
365.  Husband who help me fix stuff and move shelves.
366.  Two boys that love stopping in at a work.
367.  Coworkers who bring pickle jars home to collect frog eggs in, a gift for my boys but really a gift to me.
368.  Friends to have dinner with, games to be played, and laughs to be had.
369.  Chicks that get excited to hear my voice.
370.  Little boys who adore me.
371.  Quiet nights with my thoughts.

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