My body aches.
My soul throbs.
I'm not sick.
My job, 48 hours doesn't seem like enough. It's one of my loves, my team, working all positions, dealing with both the satisfied and unhappy customers, learning; the never ending learning, and the quit times of maintaining my store, all of this I love.
And yet my true love is at home being super Dad, as days go by where this Mom sees her boys for minutes only. Two in a half days, really 30 hours a week is not enough time to be a mother, a wife, a housekeeper, a cook, and a friend.
The throbbing of my soul? Some how even in the thrills of life when I should see the blessings of a job I love and boys who are growing into men, and a husband who fights for our family, and the beauty of nature surrounding me, some how I forget the Giver; the Maker of all things good; both the heavens and the earth. My souls throbs from the disconnect. What is life without the One who gives me breath?
If only I cold slow time, or maybe just add a few hours here and there. Then maybe I could find rest and beauty in these three loves of mine. As I sit in the quiet this is what I contemplate. How can I make time? The answer: I can not only God can add time to life. All living things are bond by it, chained by it being dragged hour by hour, minute by minute, helpless to slow it. Even so this these chains should bring me joy. Without time there would be no end. If there is no end why would there be any hope for what is to come.
What is it that I hope to have before my time runs out? I hope for a home that is ours to share with hurting souls. A Haven for others to find rest, for us to find rest in, a place full of Life. I hope for my own store where I can daily be in the kitchen doing what I love in a small hole in some back ally corner where my cooking and the atmosphere does the advertising for me. I hope for my boys to grow into men, and then fathers, friends of mine, but most of all lovers of God.
My conclusion, Keep on keeping on, and to remember the words of a wise man, "It is good that you grasp one thing and also not let go of the other; for the one who fears God comes forth with both of them."