Saturday, May 14, 2011


As I write my youngest son is lying awake and very still in his bed.  This is the same son who doesn't know the meaning of fear and is always looking for his next meal.  He's the one that fishes in my toilet, drains my radiator pipes, climbs everything he sees, lets go of me in a five foot deep pool, and only realizes it was bad idea when he's already committed.  This guy also lives true to his name, laughter.  He loves to laugh, cuddle and live life to its fullest.  Yet now he's lying in bed still.  His nose is gushing clear thick snot.  Every diaper is poopy and accompanied with deep painful cries.  It looks like his bum spent the whole day on the beach without any sunscreen.  We spent last evening with a bowl beside us practicing what to do for the next time he vomited.  A few times today he's asked for the bowl.  I've changed my outfit twice today.

This is how he spent most of the day...

At first I thought all of this pain and hardship for my little man was because he had a few drops of milk.  He was showing all the symptoms of the allergy minus the rash.  Shortly after lunch his temperature started rising.  I also noticed that his lymph nodes are swollen.  Whenever I ask where it hurts it's his mouth not his stomach that he points to.  Allergies do not cause fevers, he's got some kind of bug.  One of the two boys, usually both have been sick for 12 out of the last 15 months. 

...even when I was on the floor playing with Si.

Around month three I became bitter towards both God and my job as a mother.  Any "homemaker" knows that it's hard work keeping the house clean, training your kids, cooking, having a smile on your face when your husband walks through the door exhausted.  Not only was this my job but the first four months of our sickness it was pure sickness.  I spent weeks cleaning and scrubbing and sanitizing every room day after day.  At one point my pediatrician warned me that my baby would probably end up in the hospital because he was so young (praise the Lord that didn't happen).  I also foolishly took on potty training during this time.  It only took seconds for me to realize that bitterness towards God wasn't helpful, but the bitterness towards mothering took a little longer to let go of.  About a year ago I started asking myself what I could learn from this rather then looking at it as one more day of sickness.  I've come to be thankful for these sick days.  Just like in my own life sickness forces me to stop.  It has shown me what my most important "job" in this season of fully mother is.

You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up.
~ Deuteronomy 6:7

196.  Understanding big brother who let me cuddle with sick little brother.
197.  Husband who doesn't get upset after looking all over the house for my journal only for me to realize it's right beside me.
198.  Date with my young man of the woods
199.  Sickness - time to simply be with my boys.
200.  1 1/2 year old who atempts to use the puck bucket.
201.  Sickness - helping me sort out my priorities.
202.  Inexpensive sandwiches from the corner store.
203.  Pretty flowers in the window box.
204.  Sickness - teaching me to pray out loud my sentance prayers.
205.  Sickness - learning to praise God in the grime of life.

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