Saturday, September 8, 2012

And now for something completely different.

I have been in some type of ministry since I entered Jr. high.  When Strong man and I were first married I was sure that together we both would be neck deep in service to our King.  As we learned that our family of two was growing to a family of three I was again sure that my little Malna (that's what I called him while I carried him), would be content to sit on my hip while I continued to making organized ministry my life's work.  That is until I met the adorable little screaming child.  He screamed for the first seven months of his life (That's how long it took me to figure out his milk allergy).  While I loved that boy with all my heart I quickly realized there were somethings I would just have to sit out of. But still I was sure I would never ever fully step out of organized ministry.  That is up until last year when Manic-depression came raging into my mind.  That's when I began to realize that there was a godly life outside of ministry.  I mean I knew it, I had seen others do it, but I personally could not comprehend such a thing.  In fact I mourned like the loss of a dear friend, I mourned.  In the end I took a year off.  I mean off of everything.  I went to church and Sunday school and that was it.  If I did my weekly homework well then that was great if I never finished the book well then that was good too.  While I did build some good relationships with women I'm not sure I would have otherwise.  I was just another face in the crowd.  It was good.  It was what I needed.  It was what my family needed.  It was plain and simple all around the best choice I could have made.

As the year went on however I began to feel like I should think about leading an adult small group.  However while I can lead I don't enjoy it, so why would I even entertain such and idea, still I spent months praying it over.  This summer Strong man was telling me how he wished there was a small group for parents where we could learn what the children where learning as well.  I grabbed hold and before long we had something.  In the end I'm not leading I'm facilitating.  Not a big difference but an important one.  So tomorrow I will begin my first ever adult group.

I'm chewing my nails with anticipation and a little bit of fear.

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