I have been in some type of ministry since I entered Jr. high. When Strong man and I were first married I was sure that together we both would be neck deep in service to our King. As we learned that our family of two was growing to a family of three I was again sure that my little Malna (that's what I called him while I carried him), would be content to sit on my hip while I continued to making organized ministry my life's work. That is until I met the adorable little screaming child. He screamed for the first seven months of his life (That's how long it took me to figure out his milk allergy). While I loved that boy with all my heart I quickly realized there were somethings I would just have to sit out of. But still I was sure I would never ever fully step out of organized ministry. That is up until last year when Manic-depression came raging into my mind. That's when I began to realize that there was a godly life outside of ministry. I mean I knew it, I had seen others do it, but I personally could not comprehend such a thing. In fact I mourned like the loss of a dear friend, I mourned. In the end I took a year off. I mean off of everything. I went to church and Sunday school and that was it. If I did my weekly homework well then that was great if I never finished the book well then that was good too. While I did build some good relationships with women I'm not sure I would have otherwise. I was just another face in the crowd. It was good. It was what I needed. It was what my family needed. It was plain and simple all around the best choice I could have made.
As the year went on however I began to feel like I should think about leading an adult small group. However while I can lead I don't enjoy it, so why would I even entertain such and idea, still I spent months praying it over. This summer Strong man was telling me how he wished there was a small group for parents where we could learn what the children where learning as well. I grabbed hold and before long we had something. In the end I'm not leading I'm facilitating. Not a big difference but an important one. So tomorrow I will begin my first ever adult group.
I'm chewing my nails with anticipation and a little bit of fear.