The redneck in me..

A few things I hate at Christmas time.  I hate the lines, the push and shove, and the hubbub about the "perfect gift".  I hate spending money on STUFF.  So instead of dealing with all this I begin thinking about Christmas in January and do my best to find a gift that will bring the most joy to the person.  Usually for an added bonus it cost less money too.

For example one year my Dad's favorite soda was on sale so on Christmas day under the tree a six pack of opened, half drank cream soda sat waiting for Dad.  There's a short story that goes along with this:  Growing up it wasn't out of the ordinary for Dad to eat food I had left in the fridge.  One time he even ate part of my school project!  It was for my public speaking class.  Having been asked to do a demonstration speech I thought it would be a cinch to use my "Sandwich artist" skills from Subway.  My boss loved the idea and gave me enough food to feed the entire class.  Little did I know the hardest part would be protecting it.  My Dad arrived home from work in the middle of the night hungry, so he helped himself...Hence the Christmas gift a few years later with half empty cream soda bottles.  Each bottle had a note on it with some excuse as to why it had been drank.  He loved it!  He brought it to work to show it off and laugh with his friends.  Good times.  A gift that didn't cost much but is still laughed over and talked about years later.  In fact as we talked of this story around the Thanksgiving table I was reminded that I used to be one of the best "Welch Belchers" around.  Some parts of me should be left in the past I think...

Well, this year Jeff Foxworthy could use us in a joke or two.  Take a look:

Yep, Christmas lights made out of shotgun casings.  You couldn't get any better than that.

Oh wait!
Maybe you could.
How about this one for ya:

Yep that's me hanging out the window holding the tree on the top of the car with my strong man holding onto me.  Granted we were only a stones through from home.  But still...