That's the nature of this sickness. One day all I see is blackness and the next life is normal. The more I learn of it the better perspective I have of it. This sickness with take a few years to learn it, and the rest of my life to fight it. As time goes on the battle becomes easier. This sickness is like my boys milk allergies. The first 6 months Man of the woods screamed, never sleeping for more then an hour at a time. Once the sickness was diagnosed a time of healing began. Along with the healing came times of severe pain as we learned how to deal with the sickness. Now it's everyday stuff with hardly any thought to the allergy. In the near future this darkness will be the same for me too.