Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Lie #3

I write these deceptions so that I may know the truth.  I write so that my boys, as men, may understand.  I write so that the world may know Freedom.

I would thrive without a family.

Now it is true that being a stay at home mother of two very active, very needy little men is a difficult task.  It is true that I didn't realize there was anything wrong with my mind before my family.  It is true that I was quite successful in my profession before becoming a wife and mother.  It is true now that I understand my sickness I can see all the ways my mind and body instinctively knew how to cure or balance out emotions.

However now more then ever I need my family, all THREE of them.  As research has proved eventually I would have been over taken by this sickness, Bi-polar, with or without my family.  It could have happened by a simple antibiotic or any random menstrual cycle.  Just because it happened while I was pregnant with Laughter (which is why he's named that) doesn't mean anything. 

In fact what it does mean is that I have a reason and a cause to get out of bed everyday.  Each day I see that I have a purpose, two actually.  I have never hit the point of suicidal thoughts, and in big part that's because I have the task of mothering two boys that bring me joy.  They were hand picked by the Maker Himself just for me and Strong man.

Strong man.  His name fits him well.  He's my hero.  Not only does he rescue me on my bad days, I have a best friend who knows me better then I know myself often times.  If it wasn't for his nudging and perspective I may have never gone to the doctor in the first place.  As I'm not sure the medication is really helping we're at least able to study this sickness and plan our strategy to fight it.

The bottom line is that I need this family of mine and they need me.  The lie is just that a lie.

What therefore God has joined together let no man separate.
~ Matthew 10:9

1802.  Hard conversations with Strong man.
1803.  Tears of love.
1804.  Children to teach me.

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