This darkness is a monster. A monster that fights to take over. I have spent days laying in bed wishing that God would take my life. Chanting in my mind that I have a hope. It goes something like this: I have hope, God please take me life, I have a hope, God please take my life, I have a hope God please take my life...Or something like this as I stare at the wall knowing if I move from the bed it would be to repeatedly bash my head into the wall to get the dark monster out. To that I chant this: God I believe, help me to believe, God I believe help me to believe. Or the hours I refuse to watch the wall knowing if I do I will not have the strength to resist, the chanting becomes this: God Protect me from myself, protect me from myself, protect me from myself, please take me Home, protect me from myself.
A glimpse into the darkness I fought before medication.
For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is a gift of God.
2215. A God who is big enough.
2216. A Creator that knows no boundaries.
2217. Only Grace.