When Death brushes ones face a pause and evaluation is in order.
This happened to me last week, Death brushed by. The one with whom my soul is knit to (see Samuel 18:1) was released from death with only the side effects of the common flu. A second chance. A Grace only God can give.
This called for an unexpected visit to the white mountains, a three hours drive. The one I am knit to and I spent many hours together, mostly waiting, talking of life, and death. As fatigue and hunger began to effect our mood the sillies began to come pouring out. So in a hospital we sat laughing, only ours were heard only we had a Hope. May we never forget the Giver of Hope. May we actively seek to know Him in a more personal way.
As I drove home the next day, I slowed taking Route 2. Meandering through nature began to revive my tired soul. Nature and solitude are good.
I spent hours praising God for second chances while mourning that I can only sit and watch as those I love choose pain.
Again I asked My Maker why would He allow pain? Why does He give boundaries? Why does He respect them Himself?
Aahhh, but isn't that the joy of life? I remembered how my pain and hurt allowed me to appreciate the love only one Daddy can give. So I curled up into His sweet arms and let Him hold me close, mending my broken heart. I drove on with the sun shining down and a warm breeze in my face.
That's when it began again. Thank you Jesus for all that You have given me.~~Praying friends. A supporting husband. Laughter and an enjoyment of life when death is all around. Old back roads to drive. Winding rivers. The new green life mixed with the dark steadfast life of the pines. A lens to capture the beauty. The white mountains. Many who care for myself and those I love...(a few gifts 2181-2202, most are far too personal)
As the Eucharist began flowing through my veins again. I found a hurting drunk lady walking in the middle of no where. Before the car door even clicked she was pouring out her hurt. She hasn't known love, true love, in a long time, if ever. I listened. As she already has a "christian" in her life that makes sure she knows she's trash, worse then most of us, I simply said I love you, & God loves you. Why are we so quick to hurt, when Jesus was so quick to love? I've heard it said that the single greatest cause for atheism is christianity.
After driving down three dirt roads to get to where she was going we sat in the drive way talking. My part was mostly listening, allowing her poor broken soul to know she was cared for. I didn't want her to forget that I cared for her, that there is a love she hasn't known before so my "Joy, Grace, & Thanksgiving" Bible is now hers. A gift she wanted. She held tight as she left my car. May God use that book to bring Her endless Joy.
I encountered many broken souls this weekend, glaringly obvious. Two things I learned from it.~One~Boundaries are in order. If I had not known where mine stopped and others began I wouldn't have been able to love any.~Two~My eyes had become dim to the brokenness I see in my daily life. Why does it take the brush of death to awaken my forgetful soul?
Now that Death has come and gone alone I am still able to say God is good. God is always good. God's love knows no bounds. The broken are wanted as much as any other.
May those I came in contact with crave His love as I do. May I never lose my eyesight again.
Grace be with all those who love our Lord Jesus Christ with incorruptible love.
~ Ephesians 6:24