I learned shortly after the grey began to cover my mind that I would not be able to live up to all that I had shown my husband I was. It took less then 100 days to be so broken that I didn't realize I could drop any further. It only got worse as the darkness became suffocating. I was useless. Our marriage survived only because we knew the truth of who we were and who our Creator was. For Months I gave nothing to build our marriage up. For months I fought just to get out of bed in the morning to go through the actions of loving our sweet boys even though I could not feel love.
The next strom will come, it's the way of the disease. We made it through this time, but I'm humble enough to know that we may not next time. After all we are human. We are imperfect. So while I'm sane I want to aggressively work to make our marriage excellent. We've begun our journey from a good marriage to an excellent marriage by not simply saying the Holy Spirit leads our lives, but to beg of Him to lead by growing us to be one. Gray Thomas is who grabbed our attention on the matter with this:
I wonder: How would our marriages be transformed if we learned to listen to God on behalf of our spouses? How might husbands feel encouraged if wives learned from the mouth of God what kind of day their husband was having and made appropriate preparations for his return home? How might wives feel uplifted and strengthened if husbands would take time out of their day to ask, "Lord, what do I need to do today to better love my wife? (From his book, Sacred Parenting)
And so taking our marriage to the next level begins.
In the morning, O LORD, You will hear my voice; in the morning I will order my prayer to You and eagerly watch.
~ Psalm 5:3
2209. Strong man who values our marriage.
2210. A mutual understanding that God is big enough to handle our marriage.
2211. Constant communication with God.
2212. Because of Jesus we have an unconditional love for one another.
2213. At the end of the day we are each others best friend.
2214. Knowing the Holy Spirit more deeply because of our marriage.