As I change medications my mind jumps from one emotion to the next so simple things drive me to fiery anger. For example: I've spent many days in bed this week so when I came out of my room sweet Laughter was overjoyed to see me. He reached out to pat my leg as he said with much glee, "Oh Momma! You here!" I tried hard but still in harsh tones I told him not to touch me as I walked past him out of the room. In the moment it was the nicest thing I could have done for him...Pretty ugly huh?
I don't know how to see this coming or how to stop myself from these harsh words. For now until the medications kick in I'm staying at a distancing hoping and praying the Lord will allowing them to forget.
These are the times were I'm constantly reminding myself that this hidden sickness that I have isn't just for me to learn and grow from, but for my men too. My marriage is sacred. My Boys gifts from the Almighty. This sickness too a gift for all of us.
In all their affliction He was afflicted, and the angel of His presence saved them; In His love and in His mercy He redeemed them, and He lifted them and carried them all the days of old.
~ Isaiah 63:9
1399. Still wanted after all my harsh words.
1400. Man dates.
1401. Time alone with God.
1403. Doc to see me straight away.
1404. Coffee with my Helper of men friend.
1405. Encouraging words; a prospective I can't see on my own.
1406. Bedtime cuddles.
1407. Little boy prayers just for me.