If I had worded it like this: Because I am a wife of one who ministers then the trials, suffering and ugliness of my soul could hurt the expectations of those involved in my Strong man's life work. If that is what I had written then my statement would be absolutely true. We will hands down deflate expectations others have on us as couple "in the ministry". We are after all just as human as the those that don't work "in the ministry".
Yes I could allow my Manic-depressive illness to ruin our life. After all I have been at places where I wished God would take my life. But, doesn't everybody come to a time in life where they wish they could be basking in the glory of our King rather then dealing with the grime of the here and now? That is key, I have never lost track of my Creator. I have never thought that I would take my life, only asked that He would. I have never lost my Hope. I have never given up on the power of Jesus' death and resurrection. I know that His power has defeated all. I know that the feelings of darkness were just that-feelings; not truth.
As long as I hold to that truth, my brokenness will not ruin my husband's ministry.
Lead me in Your truth and teach me, for you are the God of my Salvation; for You I wait all day.
~ Psalm 25:5
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