Not to bust any body's Very Merry bubble because mine isn't even close to busted. It's been a while since I've shared where I'm at with this whole depression thing. I'm learning not just with myself but also with others who walk this path beside me that holidays are very difficult times. So here I am livin' with my arms wide open and sharing with the world!
I'm no longer in tears everyday and I haven't spent time just staring at the wall not really sure what it is that I'm thinking about. Instead I've had more energy. I'm still down but smiles come easier these days. I'm constantly agitated and in the snap of your fingers it can turn to snarling anger. I find I am constantly reminding myself that it's okay for little boys to be little boys. I'm also finding that I'm taking more time outs then the hoolies are these days. I deeply love my boys and refuse to punish in anger even if that means that I go into time out or that I need to apologize for sending them away from me so I could have some breathing room.
Add to all of that, three days before Christmas I am starting a new medication and coming off of an old one. The Doc. knows that if I don't like what it does to me today then I'll go without until after Christmas. I refuse to have my Very Merry Bubble busted. At the ages of two and three these are the best days our family will have. The boys are soaking up the excitement of Jesus birth. They still love the idea of giving over receiving.
I refuse to sacrifice these days to some crazy-who-knows-what-it-will-do-to-me-medication.
1363. A Doctor who understands motherhood.
1364. A supportive husband.
1365. The birth of the Messiah
1366. Great ages to teach and celebrate with little ones.