Slime

What does one do with two little boys the week one is moving?

Make SLIME.  A super easy project that has a short life, but keeps the hoolies occupied for hours.  This means I have time to pack boxes.

Here's how it's made:
In one bowl mix:
4 oz Elmer's glue
1 cup warm water
food coloring.  I thought green was fitting.

In another bowl mix:
2 tsp Borax
1/3 cup water

Add by tsp the Borax mixture until you get the texture you desire.  The more you add the stiffer it gets so go slow.

Then play and store in two half pint jars to play again later.  (Ignore the tooting sounds followed by lots of boy laughter.)

1649.  Found money I thought was packed.
1650.  Free boxes.
1651.  Friends to help pack.
1652.  Friends to play with the boys.
1653.  Easy recipes.
1654.  Slime fun.
1655.  Hours of play time and packing.

What to do with old bananas, besides making banana bread.

Monkey bars are almost essential around here and so easy to make.  Let me share this yummy deliciousness with you.

What you'll need:
2 1/4 cups all purpose flour
2  teaspoons baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 cup oatmeal
1 cup sugar
2/3 cup butter/margarine (can be made with soy butter or oil)
2 or 3 bananas
1 teaspoon vanilla or more if you are like me I add more vanilla to EVERYTHING.

Mix all the wet ingredients together.  I let the hoolies go wild smashin' up the bananas.  They live for this part of the process.

After going through the cupboards to see what kind of treats you can to it.  Add in about 1/2 a cup of dried cranberries and a 1/2 cup raisins or 1/2 cup chocolate chips.  Really whatever you can think of that would tasted good with bananas.  I usually have a 1 cup of some combinations of the above three things.

Pour mixture into a 9 x 13 inch pan that is well greased.  Or make into cookies, I prefer the bars.  Bake at 400 for about 15 minutes.  Remember it's NOT a cake so you want it to look gooey when it's done.  If using a toothpick it shouldn't come out clean, but should be slightly sticky.

1645.  Little hands to smash bananas.
1646.  Joyful boy giggles.
1647.  yummy baking treats to nibble.
1648.  Warm, gooey monkey bars.

Preperations EFA 2.3

It feels as though it's been weeks since the last Epic Family Adventure.  Maybe it has been that long.  The men have had many adventure, but my sickness full of anger as of lately has kept me staying at arms length with my men so as not to attack them with my words.  Turns out the medication trial #8 only increased my already agitation and frustration.  I'm glad to be mostly human again and able to love on my three men. 

This weeks EFA falls on a rainy scuzzy kind of day. Our goals for today was to find a trunk. We stopped at a few little antique and thrifty stores, but all were closed due to the weather.

Still we weren't discouraged.  We stopped by the new apartment for some measurements and off we went this time looking for some curtains, baskets, and inexpensive things to wow the boys with there new room.  All of which we found.

Only stopping for lunch and naps.  We threw in some Maine Jump for the hoolies to get out all that pent up energy.  After all they did really well shopping with us today.  I think they are excited about the new bedroom, even if it doesn't have a closet as Man of the woods had hoped.

For he clung to the LORD; he did not depart from following Him, but kept His commandments, which the LORD had commanded Moses.

~ 2 Kings 18:6

1644.  Happy little helpers as we shopped.
1645.  A daddy to save the day as the boys began to have a melt down.
1646.  Clearance
1647.  Green curtains just as Man of the woods had hoped for.
1648.  Brown curtains as Momma had hoped for.
1649.  Strong man insisting I buy a crate full of character just perfect for my spices.
1650.  Bounce houses.
1651.  Little boy laughter.
1652.  the sound of rain hitting the snow.

Math

Man of the woods practicing his math skills.

First a roll of the dice...

...And then the move.  We also play using a spinner.  I'm excited for the days when I can play cribbage with him as my Pop did with me as a little one...I'm in love with this boy.

What else can I do?

When I'm having a not so good day, not a depression bad day, just a regular plain old bad day.  You know what I'm talkin' about:  the kids fight all day, when you reach for the eggs only to find there are none, when naps somehow don't happen, you just cleaned that and now it's worse then before you began thanks to small hands.  That kind of bad day.  All I know how to do is count. 

A lesson it's taken almost a year to learn, but one I'm incredibly thankful for. I count the gifts of each and everything God has seen fit to give me today.  The here and now.  The mess and chaos.  Even more so on these "throw up your hands with an attitude of if you can't beat you mind as well join them" days.  So here it is...

1617.  Gummy treats
1618.  Veggie tales - Jonah
1619.  Sun rays across my floor.
1620.  Hot showers

1623.  Found my rejoice crayon (a word search as I read through the bible. Lost this special seer today)
1624.  Phone call from a friend just to ask, "How are you?"
1625.  Seeing the need to slow and cuddle the boys.
1626.  Fresh clean shower curtain.

1627.  The filthy stench of sin shown in Isaiah.
1628.  The beautiful awesome description of redemption also written by Isaiah.
1630.  Runny noses and stomach bugs to remind me of the ugly sin I fight each day.
1631.  Sleepy boys

1632.  Charlotte's Web

1633.  Silly kitties.
1635.  Unplanned dinners
1636.  Yummy treats made from discoveries as I was cleaning out the freezer.

1637.  All day coffee
1638.  Blueberries
1639.  Naps missed.
1640.  Empty egg carton inspired me to go to the freezer, ending with blueberry pie, okay blueberry soup pie.
1641.  Pushy cat.

To grant those who mourn in Zion, giving them a garland instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the mantle of praise instead of a spirit of fainting.  So they will be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that He may be glorified.

~ Isaiah 61:3

Craft day

The boys made paper bag puppets today. 

I'm not quite sure they got the concept...Moving on...

I made grace sticks.  Each boy gets three graces a day.  Not a ton of fun to make or do.

Baby dawning fell in love with guns.  Wonder what her Mommy thinks of the boys influance?

Once the babie all were fast a sleep.  The Mommies too had a day of crafting.

Message boards were the thing for us.

A nice addition to the calander the hoolies gave me for Christmas.

Please tilt head for the full effect of the finished product.  Blogger didn't want to play nicely. ;)

Part 4: I love you, filled with Grace

For part 1, 2 & 3:
Secrets filled with grace, part 1
Courtship of grace, part 2
Secrets revealed accepted with grace, part 3


After a summer full of emails and some face to face visits while camping or hiking with each others families the day finally came where Strong man told me he loved me. My response wasn't exactly what he had expected, "God and I were just talking about this, and I love you too."

This conversation was the night before he was putting me on a plane so I could go "home" to Hungary, pack my bags and move back to the states.  The Lord had seen fit to take all of my financial support away over the summer.  A summer that was for just that; support raising.   Two weeks after I had helped with a major event, packed my four years of life into 2 suitcases, and left as many notes as possible for my dear intern taking my place and came back to the states. 

Now we knew we loved each other but we weren't really sure what to do next.  Marriage seemed to soon as we had only known each other for four months and see each other in person 11 times.  So we found married friends of all stages to ask them what it was they would ask each other if they could go back to the days before there marriage.  We began to sit down with each other and talk these issues out. 
Here's are some examples of our list:
How would we discipline our kids?
What kind of schooling would we put them through?
How would we manage our money?
How would we handle our disagreements?
What would happen to our other female/male relationships?
What was expected of each other once we were husband and wife?
Would I work?
etc.

Once we got through our list we knew we would spend the rest of our lives together.  However I was under the impression that it would be months before he officially asked.  This was on a Tuesday. 

On Thursday he bought and moved into his house.  It was a bit strange when he told everybody to decorate and set up the kitchen as however I wanted it.  Or when he started just taking a small box of breakables I asked him to store in a closet of his.  He used them to decorate his living room.  I should have known that he was going to ask soon.

The next day as we were finishing up with the cleaning he sat me down on the couch and said, "It's good to know you're going to say yes when I ask you."

With that I responded with, "Well I can't keep it a secret very long you'd better hurry up and ask."

Strong man said, "Would you like to go get a ring?"

So off we went ring shopping actually it was more like the first store we came to I found a beautiful ring.  There in the store he asked me to be his wife.

(For the rest of the romance story check in ever December 9 to find a new tidbit of our day shared.  It was a fun day with many laughs.)

1576.  Others willing to take time for us.
1577.  Hard conversations.
1578.  My own engagement story.
1579.  The most beautiful ring.
1580.  The scream from my handy mom as she found out.
1581.  Being dragged by the hand by my mom as she found out to share the news with others.
1582.  My sister catching on. 
1583.  Strong mans miss placed hand on my sisters knee cause much laughter throughout the entire family to this day.
1584.  Cleaning house.
1585.  Commitment.
1586.  The green couch.

Cranberry-apple juice!!

Yummmy treats!  I realized that I had a bag of cranberries left from Christmas and some apples needing to be used up so I decided juice sounded great.

My Thundering sister sorted the cranberries as I peeled the apples.  We boiled them seperately.  After cooling we strained the juice.  Wa La juice ready to serve.

Yum doesn't even begin to describe how good it was.

Rest...

The grass withers, the forwer fades, but the Woed of our God stands forever.

~ Isaiah 40:8

Pure bliss, is it not?

Random memories from fall of 2011...

...With some pictures of an indoor snowball fight from this winter.  I know it all makes perfect sense.

 ~ The boys had been asleep for over two hours and woke just before getting home. Trying to keep the ride a joyful one I started talking with them. Teasingly I said, "To bad you didn't like the camera's you got from Grammy, huh?" No response so strong man joining in the jesting said, "Well I guess that means I get to have them." Instant sobbing! Strong man was trying to talk over the boys to let them know that he was just teasing, and me well I was doing all I could to hold the knee slapping laughter inside to keep the situation from getting any worse. Although, I'm sure I failed big time...

~ The boys are in stitches as they see who can blow the dust bunny the furthest...Wondering how I should take that?

~ Most nights the chore of brushing the wee ones teeth brings many tears. For one it's because he hates the task so combined with his strong will it ends in tears some days for both of us. For the other the tears come when the task is finished and I say 20 minutes of brushing is plenty...
~ I came into the living room from doing the laundry to find that my boys were playing "Splat the tomato" all over my living room.

~ On a date, with my Strong man, looking for lamps. I stopped and asked a man pulling some goods where it was I could find the lamps. He said, "Well my guess would be over there in that area but I don't really know I work for Pepsi." I'm sure the whole store heard our laughter. He was right the lamps were exactly where he said they'd be. On his way out we saw him again and thanked him for his help even if he didn't work there.

Every once in a while...EFA 2.2

...We get Sunday afternoons at home.

 It's a boots off,

good smelling,

good tastin' kind of day.

Full of quiet work,

good books,

and long naps.

Glorious!

And he said, "My presence shall go with you, and I will give you rest."

~ Exodus 33:14

1497.  A delish lunch from friend.

1498.  Quiet afternoon with all my family.

1499.  Silence.

I can't protect my children from God.

Remember my questions post where I asked questions of God.  Not what I would expect the righteous God followers to ask maybe someday I can be content with it all.  Until then I needed answers.  As always He listened and this time He gave me the answers I asked for.  Do you remember the question about my children?  It went something like this, "What you doing to these babies of mine as I suffer this depression?"  He took me to John 21 where Jesus tells Peter of his future and Peter wants to know about the other guys future too.  Jesus says don't worry about him.  You just follow me.  That answer held me for a day.  Then I went to My Shepherd in tears and angry.  It was good. Let me share with you.

1 Corinthians 10:13 says No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it.

There are three really cool things here.  I've also added in some scripture that agrees with 1 Corinthians 10:13:
1.  He is Faithful.  1 The 5:24 - Faithful is He who calls you, and He also will bring it to pass.  He's not going to let go, not only of me but of my three men.  He will be faithful to them as He has always been to me.  He is enough for them. 

2.  When the time come He will give me and my boys a way of escape.  2 Peter 2:9a - then the Lord knows how to rescue the godly from temptation Here I find rest for my dreams of the men my boys will become.  Here I know that this is good for them.  They will come out of this better prepared for life then had my dreams made it to reality.

3.  Grace is enough.  For all four of us.  This is where it is most difficult for me because once again it all comes down to my pride as it did for Paul in 2 Corinthians 12:7-9 Because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, for this reason, to keep me from exalting myself, there was given me a thorn in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to torment me--to keep me from exalting myself!  Concerning this I implored the Lord three times that it might leave me.  And has said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness."  Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.  I have learned, and may I never forget, that I cannot protect my children from God.  I need to say that whatever my children need to suffer is good (I know what many of you think of this line.  For me I will talk of this another time).  This depression is as good for them just as it is for me.

Even to your old age I will be the same, and even to your graying years I will bear you!  I have done it, and I will carry you; and I will bear you and I will deliver you.

~ Isaiah 46:4

1585.  Good conversation with my shepherd.

1586.  Seeing that I need to let go of more.

1587.  Knowing I can't protect my kids from God.

1588.  Tears of brokenness.

1589.  Life lessons in the process of being learned.

1590.  Time with my helper of men friend.

1591.  John 21:22

1592.  1 Corinthians 10:13

1593.  Time in silence with my Strong man.

1594.  Clean floors.

1595.  Rosy cheeked niece.

1596.  Good boys.

1597.  As asked for God saved the falling snow for me to watch.

1598.  David Nevue, pianist, to calm my soul.

1599.  White, pure, holy

1600.  My sister's hands to offer extra help.

Part 3: secrets revealed accepted with Grace

For part 1:  Secrets filled with Grace
For part 2:  Courtship of Grace.

Now just before we said our first "I love you's" I knew that he needed to know of the dreaded, wished it had never happened, relationship.  You know Part 1 of this Grace series. 

So there we were I had spent weeks talking with the LORD about this guy.  I knew it was time to tell him of that past relationship being the most hurtful of all.  We sat across from each other at a little soft serve in my home town.  By the time the ice cream was finished I hadn't told.  What was this Strong man of God going to think of me.  I knew could forgave and lavished grace onto me, but I couldn't imagine any man ever doing such a thing.  Then he had dropped me off back home, still nothing but chatter left my lips.  Even still on his 2 hour car ride back to his place nothing.

A week or so later he took me to visit his Grampy.  He adored this praying man.  It was a great day.  I had realized that it wasn't fair to him to think that I'm this amazing women of God when I had all that hidden sin in the past.  So I told him.  All of it. 

I think his exact response was, "That's okay, but really?  I can't imagine you doing any of that stuff.  Wow God has really changed you."  Sweet honey to my ears, grace.

He did go home and cry.  He morned the loss of his expectation but even more he morned the hurt I went through.  The selfish leading I had followed. 

That brings us back to the "I love you's"...

1572.  Strong mans forgiveness
1573.  Strong mans grace.
1574.  God's blessing.
1575.  Eyes wide open.

Questions

First I wanted to name this post once again, "Medication Sucks".  Then I went for Bitterness Towards Motherhood."  In the end "Questions"  I found most fitting for this here post. 

It's true I do hate the meds.  I have been on 8 different medications with side effects ranging from heart palpation's, to lack of libido, to wanting to cut myself, to clumsiness, to "morning sickness" without the joy of carrying a child, and more!  You want some?  Sounds fun, huh?

Well the more I'm on the medications the more my moods swing as they try to find a balance.  It's to be expected, so they say.  The only problem is that while I'm all over the charts crazy, I still have two little boys that expect and need a Momma to love on them.  I can hardly function some days and others I can't slow enough to let them be little boys.  My sister is seeing it first hand.  I can see it in her eyes the amazement at how different I am.  So what do I do?

I run to God and question Him?  I don't know what else to do.  I know his promises.  I know He's perfect.  I know he works all things together for the good of those who believe.  I know he won't give me more then I can take.  I know all the Sunday school answers.  But I could really give two hoots about Sunday school answers.  This isn't just my life that's moving around here and there.  It the lives of the ones I'm supposed to be responsible for.  The gifts He picked just for me.  I feel as though I'm ruining them.  Really what can I do when I don't know what to do?  I question.

He's big he can handle my hard questions.  If He couldn't he wouldn't be worth following.  So I say to Him, "God what in the world are you thinking? Are YOU the insane one here? Are You playing with my life just for fun?  What are you doing to these babies of mine?"

Here's what I've found: 

In the time of Isaiah the people were a mess.  Just living in sin.  Here's what God says to them.  "I, even I , an the one who wipes out your transgressions for My own* sake, and I will not remember your sins." (Isa. 43:25)  Or this "Woe to those who deeply hide their plans from the LORD, and whose deeds are done in a dark place, and they say, 'Who sees us?'  or 'Who knows us?'  You turn things around!  Shall the potter be considered as equal with the clay, that what is made would say to its maker, 'He did not make me'; Or what is formed say to him who formed it, 'He has no understanding'? (Isa. 43:25, Paul also talks about this in Romans.) 

1. He is my glorious Maker. I am the created.
These seem to go along with John 21:22, "Jesus said to him, 'If I want him to remain until I come, what is that to you?  You follow Me!'"

2. It doesn't matter what He's called my hoolies to be here on earth. I am to follow Him.
How about Romans 12:1 "Therefore I urge you , brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God this is your spiritual service of worship."

3. By His mercy I have the opportunity to sacrifice my body which includes my mind (therefore all my dreams and expectations) to Him.
Romans 8:16 & 17 says that "The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, heirs also, heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him so that we may also be glorified with Him.

4. I am loved enough to be considered an heiress with Christ.

Therefore:
IT IS GOOD!! 

I can say to Him as I enter the new day, BRING IT ON and I will hold tight to You.

Lord help me to hold tight to You, only by Your saving grace.

1572.  Quiet time in the wee hours of the morning.
1573.  Able to take a 30 minute break.
1574.  No outburst from me.
1575.  Dealt with the boys with goals in mind rather then simply reaction.
1576.  Craft day.
1577.  Laying with my feet in Strong man's lap.
1578.  Long cuddles with Man of the woods initiated by him.
1580.  Sunset 100 in something.
1581.  Cake batter.
1582.  Chocolate cake.
1583.  Lemon water.
1584.  Coffee on a sleepy long day.
*All italics are mine

Many Thanks

To all of you who have helped me over the past weeks and months get through this depression.  I am grateful to each of you.  I would like to say Thank you:

For food.

 For your hands.

For your prayers.

For smiles

For the cleaning.

For the friendship.

For foot rubs.

For the time.

For the gifts.

For the honesty.

For Bible study.

You doing all of this for me, for my family, has freed strong man up to go a minister to others.  So let me say it again.  Thank you.

For the phone calls.

For the organizing.

For the understanding.

For the encouraging words.

Third time's a charm thank you CBC for being vessels of our Makers Love, it is this that I say thank you too.
Gifts #1528-1543 and countless more.

The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you all.

~ 2 Thessalonians 3:18